maintaining equilibrium

I am in my skin and one truth that I deal with my character is always there. I’m conscious of excitement which has moved elsewhere. It was never predictable but very abstract. I couldn’t seem to establish decisions. Is it wrong to desire so much for something that cannot be found in possessions, recognition and even money?

There’s a little escape I can do to end this up. Abstain myself and get ready for dark grey rain clouds cover up my world. When colors depart, I feel worthless. How can I imagine letting go of one thing very real that penetrates my soul?

For other people, it will be a strange act tolerating one heck rigorous course. I honestly think there’s no need to run away. I would like to stay as much as I could. Very often, I’m misunderstood. Man, you could’ve been me. You. Could. Have. Been. Me. Thumbs down to anyone who’d assign any label to me. I remain uninfluenced by the opinions and conclusions of the crowd declaring who I am, may it be politically or socially.

Experimenting is sweet in sound for others. It’s not for me though. Everything’s one shot and once you give in, you can closely see yourself ending up in your own grave. Reality doesn’t wait for anyone tomorrow. Fuck putting into action the more appropriate ones. For the past years I’ve sensed a foreign gift and the loss of courage expired innocent love I can offer.

It was me all the time. I worried about having no one drawing closer that I tended to search and go for them rapidly. Once in my life, magic commanded me to love yet the ever present pain directed me to pay attention why I can’t have everything and that I should never stop trying and believing of the perfect idea that it will all account to something great in the end.

To you: How good flesh and blood present at all times of precious memories. Hell why? Dear, you are so far. Can the world offer the same force at two different places? It’s not the worst that could ever happen as I observe couples around me. I’m very much in love with people loving each other. Now I can tell, I'm in love. Ha ha ha. Distance generates my future of being with you sitting quietly and safely. Dreaming permits me to expect and look forward to all possibilities. Tell me, when do I need to wake up? I might be forgetting it all the while. It doesn’t annoy me much determining the degree of longing to have someone discover my innermost feelings and never fail to send it through actions. I'd love it to be you. For now, it’s not wrong to slake desire and give my heart a break, right? Let me sing these lines to you, "And my love for you is still unknown. Till now I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you. And now it chills me to the bone. How do I get you alone?"