a selfish act

To move on from the possessions of the past deflects the shedding of tears for unsuccessful romance. I do remember but do not let my mind dwell to a place that cannot sustain the existence of my affection.

I may have looked for several ways to expedite the remaining feelings yet somehow destroyed to become successful. Apparently, I did.

I should disagree with the statement "My best friend is the only person who knows the real me." Beyond my tangible flesh and agile soul, I came to know that a lot of people crossed the point that my defenses had protected for a very long time. Like a supernatural being, I sense my true identity. For others, they do not need to seek for the removal of my top secret but they see me feel good about myself.

I heard from the radio, "It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."

(That's me! Taken last year. Look at my hair!)

Don't wait for me to converse anything when I know that you might be wasting my time. Allow me to have a discussion with you when I feel it. I guess that is the extensive amount of being true.

(Physics time last year. Mystified love. Successful in the end. Memories!)

As I was walking with some blockmates to buy myself a siopao, a friend told me how miserable she feels for a lost love.

Visualizing the old memories which you give in while admitting the defeat and still, you gain nothing as if the suffering carries on your remaining hope. Painful, isn't it?

Paraphrased:

I told her, "Don’t mind it. I mean, I've been there."

I didn't want to sound mushy.

"And, yes. I am just the person who can't prolong the desires of my heart when the person does not yearn for me anymore. I would love to suffer only if I know that it is part of the process of the never-ending connection."

I am selfish for the person who is also selfish. Love which I believe is superior to everyone else in the world. It is an emotion which is the evidence of human craving.

It is the depth of loving that allows us to encounter certain factors, BUT, heading to that direction---often undistinguished. Love does not only entail pain but suffering on the other side. Having emotions recognizes the constant sacrifice we undergo.

We gain from it. I believe that love is often selfish. The powerful love we have for a person digs up the wants to get a hold of his everything. We succumb to selfishness - the person is only exclusive for us. We allot our whole trust and, we also give the person the power to fail us or hurt us in the end.

Proper reciprocation is needed.

Okay then. When we give in to the dictates of assigning our wholeness to the person, we give. That is not a selfish act, right?

Did I also say that love is selfish? Oh, love can be selfish.

Please tell me what you think.

Off the topic:
Funny when someone told me before that I stutter when I am infront of someone enchanting on my eyes. The vision starts to be tasteless when I become nervous. Not anymore now. Trust me.