do you know me?

Ignorance deserted me at birth. From the very moment I was brought in this world, everyday, I’d want to extend my understanding regarding life. I am what I think and my beliefs reflect bravery on how to proclaim to the world my authentic self. Usually, I repine over my ill-behavior before. I anticipate seeing myself thriving.

Stop trying to become unique. We are already. Unless we come into contact with our inner selves and understand why we live, we can never come out of our shells and establish the essence out of the perception of who we really are.

I tend not to keep some parts of my life private. Feeling humiliated can only cause forever wounds that are terrible as I go on with this journey. God loves me in the first place. I share to Him the joys of my life and if it so happens that people learn from it, it will be an additional fragment that will lift up my drive.

I'll use my freedom to free my own self and liberate honest and open minds of other people. Last year was great, I tell you. God, I love you! The drawing line of success happened and to you guys: display energy with me!

Look, in school, wisdom isn’t taught. The time I asked permission from my mom to allow me continue high school in Manila without them around, I knew that I made the best decision. Find myself. Find myself. Find it! Graduating from an all-girls school when I was in high school, my life started to change hugely. I saw myself almost in the direction of my own grave. I gave in to so much trouble. If I continue surrendering and let my psyche be transfixed by the “wicked state of mind”, I can be a slave; oblige myself to follow the decree of the bad that ensures a towering chance of a wrongly status self. One’s mental power of an academic can never comprehend all pitfalls and restore to health one thing that is about to expire or pass away. We must all gain wisdom in order to have the right judgment, on how to water and harvest from each experience that comes to all of us.

You know what I wished to God last January 1? Make me wiser.

Someone found my YM id and the two of us chatted last night. The person is an acquaintance I met years ago; cherished and sent me gifts which in return I’ve only said my deepest thanks, nothing more. I was reminded of my old self and lack of confidence back then. Everything was out of condition. I wasn’t even concerned with the way I look. My cautious consideration provided me the hint that maybe I can try dressing up nice clothes, allow my hair to grow long; get a cool style and of course, and losing weight started it all.

“If ever I want someone to love me, someone like you is what I search,” wow, I heard that. I answered in return, “There’s only one me in this world but there are so many others greater than this shithead.” I received with appreciation a number of kind adjectives included to every thought presented.

I told the person that I only do what everyone else is doing. “You’re not afraid when you give, at least,” the answer I got. Oh yes, courage. Man, it takes a lot of courage. Why can we not proceed without any interruption and go for what we really want? I am just too selfish if I resist Love. Remember what I always say? We all have limited chances and infinity of love. I use my heart when it comes to loving and order my mind guide it. I let my friends and other people meet the person of my fondness like saying, “Hey, this one is the best person ever and the shafts of sunlight for my existence!” Isn’t that great?

When I offer, a part of me goes with it. I do all the efforts to nourish myself so that I can reassure my other half that I must be loved and treasured when I am ripe (whattta word, huh?) enough. And when I let someone accept what I can give, it’s me. It’s something real.