vague mixture

Loneliness stifles the spirit and all emotions. The visible trace of moving forward and leave something behind are written in the path you must take. Too many wild nights are very painful to handle. Sacrificing isn't always rewarded. It's Sacrfice. That's it.

You start to ask, "How long?" In the beginning, the feeling had a great flavour but bittersweet moment entered when you've found yourself as one freedom fighter. You try to comfort yourself not until the next morning when the only reason for you to smile is finally lost. You definitely know how and where you can search for it, but you couldn't dare to try because when you start to, you may never stop or, it will be pointless.

You've been so attached to it, denying the truth and living with the illusion the two of you once created. In the same way, that very exact position, you are still holding on and dreaming. Does he have to teach you how to wake up? It was easy for him to do it. He's gone. You're alone and even if you try to escape a close and silent confinement, you wouldn't want to.

He believes in love and everything that is governed by nature, sun and music. His knowledge about love had expanded the moment you came; a great thing that can't be found in scientific or technical contexts. His care doesn't modify the subject that is your heart. He only sees a part of the picture, that he has learnt to love you. Nothing more.

He seems fulfilled with the small taste of love experience and he'll leave everything that way. He won't fight for it and nonetheless, will try to dissolve the feeling one step at a time. Even if it's to see you go and forget about everything, he'll go for it. Besides, most people believe that we have to let go. Not everyone agrees. You absolutely do not agree why you have to when one special thing aims to be desired and loved in a particular manner.

He blames the peccadillo of fate for one reason that to set him alone, so desolate was planned ahead before him. Why can't he see that you found him lonely and resigning him from too many miseries is the thing you offer. Real emotions lie behind the image of you. He's blind to figure it out that you are greater than destiny. You love him and you're haunted by guilt-ridden feeling each time you hurt yourself just to see him happy. You risk and take chances even if it can claim the embarassment of rejection. Aren't these things produce Sacrifice where the power of Love begins?

You experimented with a number of connections before. It started with a failure and ended up with another failure. An antithetical idea; you love and start to hate or you hate and start to love again. The acme of the situation is to let go, maybe. But you have to wake up first before you do.

Now deserted, you can't radically restrict one memory of the past. "Please don't let go. Stay with me." One person told that to you before. You listened. You felt it. You said your goodbye after. You realize now that you've arrogated that position which is asking someone to stay; to try a farrago of faith, hope, sympathy and love to bring the romance to its life.

Maybe you want to... what? "What goes around comes around." Pondering on that quote is the best thing to do. Your world is now filled in stygian darkness. Your suffering is finite; it's universal so to speak. Your love for him is infinite. How hard, right?