new faith

I’m no longer confined by the influence of grief and disorder of thoughts but it's still there. I’m not skilled at putting out of my mind something special, something that for a long span of time had become a part of me and established my kind of world---a variety of what I needed and what I wanted. It was exceptional and for once, the most important thing to me.

At some point, I’ve been very sorry. The spell of guilt is provided to me in abundance like you can never imagine. I’m not being blamed by someone though, yet I know that I should be mindful about these things that fell just like that and ruined one thing we shared and devoted our very best.

I was told that there must be change. In the moment of ecstasy, my insecurities were covered up with something that was eager to give me endless days of excitement. I was deeply carried away. What I have to be sorry about is the way I treated these things, meanly. Selfish motives of mine departed the most magical life given to me freely. Ugh. Magic must be gone when it has no more reason to stay. It must go to some other place, a better one where somebody else will determine the significance of its spell as he undergoes innocence, unaware of what he’ll be getting out of it. The powerless individual; there goes vulnerability when one’s power is reduced by another power or rather a spell that’s more dominant.

I was that person before, a person swayed by the greatest gift. But the rush of sinful thoughts dwelled upon me like a curse. An expression of disappointment gleamed out upon my features, proving that there was darkness within me. I’ve been terribly lost. I thought that the best way of finding my path at length was to look for some more, even for short-term without realizing how it could hurt a delicate soul.

"Remember Me This Way" Jordan Hill

You're the best friend that I've found

I know you can't stay

But part of you will never, ever go away

Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you

And hope it will come true

That life will just be kind

To such a gentle mind

If you lose your way

Think back on yesterday

Remember me this way.. Remeber me this way..

This chaos crumbles the path, a path that could decay very soon. I won't let it happen. If this is the only way I must be punished, I gladly accept it. Regret is quaking within me but peace is something that must come in that I had never allowed entering before. These sorrowful occurrences had flung against my attention that when I give this time, I should offer entirely, sincerely. My heart had now grown hard and durable. This experience is composed of glittering symbols which will serve as my guide to protect and love something or someone who is essential. To offer love even as by silence, attentive enough that I wouldn’t let somebody else’s life sacrifice for the expectation of suffering pain that I can give.

For days, I’ve been sharing a moving conversation with a friend at this coffee shop. Frankness produces our willpower to be driven, share with each other about our experiences or even bringing up things we don’t like about each other. Very true, take everything one step at a time. The problem is not how it will be easy for you to move on, but to put directions to where you’re going. Setting free doesn’t represent how ready you are to learn and accept your fate. It must be done to give better things the chance to work for you, build the new form of happiness. New love comes. And it goes. You know what’s the best thing I like bout it? When it’s there, with me. The moment I’m determined to submit my fragile heart to it, not expecting for something to be given in return. I’m happy and what’s scary about it? To miss the chance of responding to its call, unafraid to take the risk and endure the torture that may come around. The profound depth, the mystery of falling in love naturally is here. Through the whole ugliness of my mistakes, with these remorseful feelings, I think there’s no effort anymore for me to change. Someone new came and changed me. I continue the care in all good faith.